Baweanese Wedding in Singapore

The Baweanese wedding in Singapore is generally similar to those of other ethnic groups originated from Indonesia such as Bugis, Javanese, Banjarees and others that live in the Singapore Malay Community. The similarity is due to the fact that they shared the same religion, Islam, and their ancestors previously came from the region of Nusantara i.e. the Malay Archipelago.

In the past, the differences in wedding ceremony of these ethnic groups were apparent. For example, the ceremony of ''Khatam Qur'an'' was one among the prominent features in a Baweanese wedding celebration. During this ceremony the bride reads the Qur'an, on the ''Pelamin'' for visitors to witness her ability in reciting the Qur'an eloquently. This ceremony is usually followed by ''Marhaban'', the Islamic hymns praising Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessing be upon him), performed by either an all male group or an all female group.

(A ''Pelamin'' is a decorated stage platform )

Through the years, like any other ethnic groups in Singapore Malay Community, the wedding celebration among Baweanese, encountered changes as the wedding trends in this community evolves. Slowly, ceremonies such as ''Khatam Qur'an'' and the shared ceremony of the elaborate ''Malam Berinai'' diminishes with time. Today, even the service of Marhaban and Hadrah groups are rarely being used. With the assimilation of wedding cultures due to mix marriages between ethnic groups in the Malay community living in Singapore, the similarities are very close. Differences can only be seen through careful observation on the behaviours, speeches and the way in which the hosts of the wedding celebration present themselves during the occasion, particularly in relations to their clothings and ornaments they wear.

(The bridegroom and his bride sitting side-by-side on a "Pelamin'' - 10th August 2008)

Today, most Baweanese in Singapore share the same wedding cultures with other ethnic groups in the Malay Community. In most cases, it is a big wedding celebration but with simple ceremonies on the wedding day. Guests are invited for a buffet reception throughout the day and simultaneously, to witness the ''Bersanding'' ceremony in which, the bridegroom and his bride, sit side-by-side similar to that of a King and Queen on a throne. Indeed they are the "King and Queen'' throughout the day on their wedding day! In todays context, the ''Bersanding'' ceremony is a time for photo session with relatives and friends. It is the time of opportunity for these guests to congratulate the newly wed couple with lots of blessings.

(Present day ''Bersanding'' Ceremony on 9th August 2008)

Gone were the days whereby a wedding occasion took few days to hold several ceremonies. Among the many ceremonies that were once considered important was the ''Malam Berinai''. In todays context, it is a private photo taking session. Normally, a day before the wedding celebration after going through the ''Aqad Nikah'' session, the bridegroom and his bride became ''models'', wearing different kind of traditional costumes with heavy make-up on their faces and the dye from the ''Inai'' (Hiina) gives the dark reddish-orange colour on their fingers.

(''Bersanding'' Ceremony during 1980s)

(''Bersanding'' Ceremony during 1970s)

The ''Aqad Nikah'' ceremony is usually held among close relatives either at the bride's parental home or at the Shari'ah Magistrate Office. This is a solemnization ceremony that validates the marriage between the bridegroom and his bride to be official. Moments before the ''Aqad Nikah'' begins, the bride will be asked by the ''Qadhi'', the Marriage Officer appointed by the Muslims' Magistrate Office, on her marital status and her standings that the marriage is of her freewill.

(The signing of Marriage Certificate during Solemnization Ceremony)

In the era of 1950s and 1960s, one of the prominent features in a Baweanese wedding celebration in Singapore was the appearance of two little girls serving as bridesmaids. During the ''Bersanding'' ceremony, they could be seen standing beside the bridegroom and his bride with fans on their hands, keeping the newly wed couple cool and comfortable. Such features disappeared slowly as time goes-by.

(The ''Bersanding'' Ceremony during 1950s)

(The ''Bersanding'' Ceremony during 1960s - Notice the two little bridesmaids standing beside the bridegroom and bride.)

Also during this period, the presence of' ''Hadrah'' was important. The Hadrah is a group of people beating the ''Kompang'' while accompanying the bridegroom to the bride's home for the ''Bersanding'' ceremony. Today, in most weddings the beats of ''Kompang'' can only be heard through audio.

(A Singaporean Baweanese Hadrah group during 1960s)

(The Hadrah group accompanying the bridegroom to the bride's parental home)

(A ''Kompang'' is a kind of drum)

Another prominent feature is the carrying of ''Bunga Manggar'' during the ceremony of ''Bertandang''. This is a pole in which at one end, a pineapple fruit is being used to hold a bunch of decorative colourful coconuts leaf veins, taking the shape of an unbrella-like shade. ''Bertandang'' is a ceremony in which the bridegroom and his bride visit the venue of the wedding celebration at both sides.

(Notice the man holding the ''Bunga Mangar" as he accompanies the bridgrooms going to the bride's home)

The ''Pelamin'', ''Bersanding'', ''Bunga Manggar'', ''Bertandang'', ''Hadrah'' and ''Kompang'' are among the shared cultures of wedding celebrations in the Singapore Malay Community. Below are videos showing a glimpse of a Baweanese Wedding in Singapore.

(Present day of ''Bertandang'' in which the bridegroom bring his bride over to the venue of the wedding ceremony held at his side - Notice the ''Bunga Manggar'' carried by the two males accompanying the newly wed couple)

(Upon request from his mum, the Bridegroom is entertaining his guests, singing in a Karaoke session. Nowadays, most wedding celebration in the Singapore Malay Community, Karaoke is a popular choice of entertainment for the guests.)

This post is dedicated to my dear cousin, Mohammad Zahril. May your marriage brings lots of joy and everlasting happiness in your life. Aameen.

Kampong Amber

(My extended families living in Kampong Amber since 1950s)

Kampong Amber was once situated at Amber Road, in Katong area. There were several Singaporean Baweanese families living side-by-side with the Malays in this kampong. Among the Singaporean Baweanese who previously lived there were my paternal grandma and aunties. When Grandma Asmaniah remarried, she moved out from Pondok Kelompang Gubuk to live with her husband in Kampong Amber, while my dad lived with his sister, Aunt Jamaliah, in the same kampong. Later on when my dad married my mum, he moved back to Pondok Kelompang Gubuk, living there for the next fourteen years before moving out of the Pondok to live in HDB flat.

(Singaporean Baweanese Wedding at Kampong Amber in early 1960s)

Even though I lived in Pondok Kelompang Gubuk for the first twelve years of my life, I often stayed over at my Aunt Jamliah's home, spending the whole school holidays in Kampong Amber. The memory of kampong life always lingers in my mind recalling the period of joy, having lots of fun with my cousins and kampong friends, playing in the open within the compound of Kampong Amber. We played all sort of kampong games from catching spider to playing hide-and-seek to hop-scotch to skipping ropes and racing games.

(My parents visiting their relatives in Kampong Amber during mid-1960s)

I could still recall the morning sound of dawn; the crowing of the cock and the chirping of the birds on the trees, acting like the alarm clock, waking everybody up. The water from the well was icy cold in the early morning and was very useful in waking-up those sleepy heads. I really miss the kampong life atmosphere! Those were the days and the good times of my childhood, the wonderful period of my life. During those days, I was extremely happy and felt fortunate to have beautiful family and wonderful extended families, the people whom I loved, living happily all around me.

(I was in my dad' arms while he was standing beside his step-mother.... his step-father remarried after Grandma Asmaniah passed away.... during mid-1960s)

Indeed my dad had given me a splendid childhood life, the period in which never in a million years could I ever imagine that somewhere in my life ahead that I would be in a state of misery, especially during the depressing period of seeing my youngest sister and only brother to experience sadness in their childhood life. They did not have the same beautiful childhood memory as mine. The childhood life of my two youngest siblings was the most difficult period of my life.

(Present day Amber Road)

(Along this stretch of road there are severals blocks of condominiums)

(Look!!! a palm tree from the past Kampong Amber is still standing tall at the same spot! .... I'm just joking! :D )

(This condominium is indeed very high!)

My Lineage III; My Dad as an orphan boy

(My dad at his work-station)

My dad was only ten years old when his father passed away. It was a terrible day for him and since then his life was never been a happy one until he married my mum. As an orphan, my dad had led a bitter life. I was sad to learn about his childhood life from my mum who witnessed it.

(My parents in late 1960s)

After Grandpa Rawi's death, my dad continued his studies at Madrasah Alsagof for a short while. When Grandma Asmaniah could no longer afford to maintain my dad's education, he stopped attending classes and finally he dropped out of school. From then onwards my dad used to resort help from a friend younger than him, whenever he needed assistance in writing; to construct simple sentences or to spell certain words. Little that he knew, this young friend of his, would one day be part of his family.

(My Mum as a student in 1950s)

My mum was that particular childhood friend of my dad. She had helped my dad a lot; from academic knowledge, to building their own family, to maintaining a beautiful home filled with happiness full of sunshine and love. My dad was a responsible and caring husband to my mum. He was a wonderful father to his children. The memory of him always make me cry and at this very moment as I am writing about him, my eyes are teary. I can never forget his words advising me to always be kind to children, especially orphans and to give some amount of money to his sisters at least S$10.00 during payday. Those were the last few spoken words of my dad to me, few days before he passed away in 1982.

(A family Photo in 1977)

I was told that as an orphan boy, my dad was often been mistreated. He was seen as a mischievous boy who dropped out of school and did not have a father to discipline him. Most of the people around my dad were too quick to criticise him. They were unwilling to guide or educate him; not bothered to assist or to guide an orphan to be a fine individual. The only helped that my dad received was from Almighty Allah and his sisters. It was due to Almighty Allah's grace and guidance that my dad grew-up to be a true Muslim.

(My dad's relatives... I was carried by my dad's nephew, the son of my dad's cousin, whom I called Uncle Rasaid...in 1964)

Even though my dad received ill treatments from some of his relatives during his childhood, he still maintained close ties with them. I remembered the day he brought me along to visit one of his relative whom one of the leg was swollen and could not walk properly, yet still struggling to earn a living by selling noodles. As we were walking away from the food stall towards the bus-stop, I asked my dad, ''Pa, who was the man you were talking to? What happened to him? Why he has a swollen leg?''. My dad told me that the man was his ex-brother-in-law and the swollen leg was the retribution of mistreating an orphan. I related to my mum about the visit and asked her whether she knew about the orphan that my dad was referring to. She told me that the boy was my dad. She said that the man with the swollen leg often woke my dad using his leg simply to command my dad to wash his employer's car. My mum continued telling me of my dad's sad childhood life. That was the first time I came to know that my dad was an orphan before.

(Aunt Jamaliah and her family in 1950s)

After Grandma Asmaniah remarried, my dad lived with his second oldest sister, Aunt Jamaliah. Her husband was a cook in a ship. They were very kind to him. My dad loved Aunt Jamaliah the most among his siblings. She was like a second mother to him. They lived at Kampong Amber, a kampong at Katong area where quite a number of Singaporean Baweanese used to live. Like my dad, I too love Aunt Jamaliah very much. She will always be remembered by this niece, for all her kindness, especially in taking care of my dad when he was an orphan, arranged his wedding and supported him in whatever he pursed. May Almighty Allah reward her accordingly for being a caring sister to my dad and a wonderful aunt to me. Aameen.

(This write-up is dedicated to my beloved late Dad, my Mum and Aunt Jamaliah. )

My Lineage II; My paternal grandparents

My dad's mother, Asmaniah, was the middle child in the first generation family of Baweanese-Japanese mix. Grandma Asmaniah married Grandpa Rawi bin Hj.Noor, a local Baweanese. Grandpa Rawi happened to be a relative of my maternal Grandpa Hj.Siddik bin Ismail. My two grandfathers were related by blood to each other.

(My late Grandma, Asmaniah binte Maksar)

Grandpa Rawi was very much in love with travelling. Perhaps, it was rather a job, earning some income to support his family than merely a passion to travel abroad. I assumed he was a small time trader for he often travelled to the Malay Peninsula even after he got married and had a family of his own. He used to bring his entire family with him to any destination he travelled to. Hence, Grandma Asmaniah was always on the move, accompanying her husband. My two older aunties, Aunt Saleha and Aunt Jamaliah, were born in Kuala Lumpur while my dad, the third child was born in Bawean Island in 1940. From the stories related to me about my grandfather's family, it seems that they were living comfortably.

(My late Grandpa, Rawi bin Hj.Noor)

My father was near two years old when the family travelled to Singapore in late 1941. It was unexpected that the trip turned out to be a one-way journey that changed the life destiny of my dad's family. In December 1941, the Japanese dropped the first bombs on Singapore. The next year the Japanese invasion forces swept through Indonesia and Malaya. In January 1942 they took over Malaya and Singapore was captured in February the same year. Due to war, my father and his family could not return to Bawean. Grandpa Rawi had no choice but to settle in Singapore during the two terrible years of Japanese occupation. The family took shelter at Pondok Kelompang Gubuk.

(My late dad, as I remember him always)

After the dropping of atomic bomb in Hiroshima and Nagasaki by US military, the Japanese soldiers in Singapore and other parts of the Malay Peninsula were instructed by their government to surrender themselves to the British authority. Aunt Jamaliah narrated to me that the ordeal of war was terrifying and unforgetable. She said that during the Japanese occupation life was very difficult and full of misery. Most of the time, she had to hide because she was afraid to be taken away by the Japanese soldiers. Aunt Jamaliah was sad to see her mother very much traumatized by the warning sirens and the sound of Japanese jet planes. According to my aunt, her mother used to hide and scream out of fear, closing her ears tightly with her hands, every time the sound of planes could be heard, even after the war was over.

(My Aunt Jamaliah and a her niece during Hari Raya AidilFitri 2007)

After the Japanese occupation, the torn and tattered Singapore was very much in-need of manpower to build up the country's economy. Like many other foreigners who were stranded due to the war, my grandfather and his family were given the opportunity to become Singapore citizen by the British government. They became Singaporeans and never had the chance to return to Bawean after that. Their home and a plot of cultivated land in Bawean were taken care by their relatives. My dad had given all his properties in Bawean to his relatives before he passed away.

(My Aunt Saleha during 1980s)

The family continued to live at Pondok Kelompang Gubuk. Grandpa Rawi earned his income working as a personal driver for a British family. My grandfather's family expanded with the birth of two more children, Aunt Nema and Uncle Samad. Unfortunately, he was unable to see his youngest son. He passed away before my uncle was born. Grandma Asmaniah became a widow for a while. Later on, she married to a Singaporean Baweanese by the named Ustadz Sainay. She remained as his wife until her death in late 1964. I was then near two years old.

(Aunt Nema and her husband during 1960s)

My Lineage I ; My Paternal Great-Grandparents

(My dad and I)

The first time I learnt about my lineage was after the Primary Four year-end examinations. I was then, about ten years old. My father was commenting on my examination results as he signed my report book. He advised me to continue with the good efforts that I had put in. My father had huge hope on me. He wanted me to pave my way towards tertiary education. He said that I could achieve easily for better results in school examinations and be a degree holder in the future.

(Me and my sisters when I was ten years old)

Back then, my father had the idea, those with mix race parentage lineage were generally intelligent. He told me that his mother was from a family with mix heritage and he believed that his children should be among the intelligent ones. From that day onwards, I started to investigate on my lineage by asking around about my paternal ancestors' background. Other than my parents, I approached my paternal aunties and grand-aunties, as well as my maternal grand-father.

(My parents)

I assumed that the mix heritage in the family of my paternal grand-mother started probably between the late years of 1800 and early 1900. The two older sisters of my father told me that their maternal grand-father's name was Maksar and their maternal grand-mother's name was Aminah. Like many other young Baweanese men at that time, great-grandpa Maksar had travelled far and wide across the oceans on big vessels. The spirit of ''merantau'' was strongly within him. He travelled for many years and finally when he decided to settle down, he brought back home from his last trip, a Japanese wife.

(Map of Bawean Island)

Great-grandma Aminah left her family and homeland, leaving her Japanese culture for a new one in a brand new home in Bawean Island. She embraced Islaam and practiced the Islamic Baweanese way of life. It was amazing that a Japanese woman like my ancestor was able to adapt very well, the simple village life-style of the Bawean people, living in a very remote island situated in the middle of the sea.

(Bawean Island on Atlas)

My great-grandma splendidly blended in, into the Baweanese society and adopted the Baweanese culture. She gave birth to three beautiful daughters who grew-up marrying the local Baweanese. Great-grandma Aminah had a blissful life with beautiful family in Bawean Island. Together with great-grandpa Maksar; she grew old gracefully in a wonderful marriage.

About Haj and the Baweanese

(Jabal Rahmah, the Mount Mercy, at Arafah - Muslims believe that Prophet Adam a.s. and mother Eve met for the first time at Jabal Rahmah after the expulsion from Heaven)

Haj is a set of religious and devotional rites performed in Makkah that can only be done during the months of Haj. It is compulsory once in a lifetime to all Muslims, male and female who had attained the age of puberty and of sound mind, whose health and means permit to perform it.

(During Wuquf at Arafah)

Having the means to perform Haj does not only confine to economical means but physical abilities too. Muslims with physical disabilities are not obliged to perform it unless they have the financial means to pay others to carry them. Throughout the pilgrimage trip, Muslims should have financial means, physical abilities, peaceful journey, travelling transportations, as well as the availability of food and water.

(At Jabal Thor - the Mount that Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. and Abu Bakr r.a. took refuge from their enemies)

To perform Haj is not to worship Prophet Muhammad s.a.w.. Neither it is for worshipping Prophet Abraham a.s., even though some of the rites are in part, in memory of the trials and tribulations of Prophet Abraham a.s., his wife, Siti Hajar and his son, Prophet Ishmael a.s.. Instead, to perform Haj is an act of obedience in submitting to the command of Allah, the Most High. The Qur'aan revealed;

''And Allah has made it wajib for mankind, for those who have the means, to perform the Haj to the House''

(Translation of Suraah Al-Imran 3:39)

''And complete Haj and Umrah as a duty to Allah''

(Translation of Suraah Al-Baqarah, 2:196)

The first Haj of a Muslim is the compulsory Haj, the one that is counted as the fulfillment of the duty to perform it. All the other Haj performances after the first one are voluntary and cannot replace the compulsory Haj. The Haj Mabroor is the Haj that is graced by Almighty Allah's acceptance. It is the kind of Haj that has a lasting effect on the pilgrims who experience a deep spiritual transformation within themselves reconstructing their lives in the path of Allah, the Most High. Indeed Haj has been designed and ordained by Allah, the All-Wise, for Muslims to reform and earn high level spiritual reward.

(Haj Jema'ah or Haj Pilgrims in 2005)

Being Muslims, the Baweanese understand very well that Haj is one of the five pillars of Islaam. Most of the Singaporean Baweanese whom I met, were very ambitious, having high hopes to perform Haj. To most of them, their lives will not be completed unless Haj is performed, fulfilling their obligation as the servant of Almighty Allah. Sincerely they strived very hard to save money for Haj pilgrimage package for the sake of Allah, the Most High.

(A Hajah from an older generation of Singaporean Baweanese - In the past, Singaporean Baweanese women who previously did not observe Hijab before performing Haj, continued to cover their head as Hajah, after they returned from Makkah.)

Even though most of the Singaporean Baweanese in the past did not come from affluent background, working as horse-trainers and drivers, they were given the opportunity to be the special guests of Almighty Allah in Baitullah at Makkah by Allah, the Most High. This is due to the constant supplications and strong faith in Allah, the All-Wise, placing firmly in their hearts the niyah to perform Haj for Almighty Allah's sake.

(A Haji from an older generation of the Singaporean Baweanese - Generally, the Singaporean Baweanese men of the past, normally put on the white Haji cap after performing Haj)

Like any other Muslims, the Baweanese believe that after the performance of Haj, their previous sins are erased and their hearts are purified. They believe that they are clean and pure once the Haj is completed, just like a new born baby without sin.

It was in the culture of most Singaporean Baweanese in the past, to change their names after the Haj pilgrimage. They believed that in doing so, it would help them to reform so as to become better Muslims with fine qualities. They wanted to start anew and believed that by having a new name would help them to have a new beginning of life as good Muslims. Indeed, they were strong Muslims, holding on firmly to their faith.

The Concept of ''Merantau'' in Haj

(Masjidil Haram - Makkah Haj 2005)

''Haj'' is an Arabic word that literally means, ''to set for a place''. Similarly in ''Merantau'' a person sets himself for a journey to far away place outside his homeland. It is no doubt that the culture of ''Merantau'' that strives actively within the lives of many Baweanese can be seen clearly during the performance of Haj, one of the pillar of Islaam. Hence, the Baweanese culture of ''Merantau'' can be said is in-line with the teaching of Islaam since through Haj pilgrimage, Islaam teaches Muslims to set foot outside their hometown to experience life in foreign land.

(The Ka'bah)

In Islam, ''Haj'' means to set out for Makkah in a state of Ihram, during the months of Haj (Syawal, Zulkaedah, Zulhijjah) with the intention to perform certain religious rites in accordance with the method taught by Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessing be upon him). While the spirit of ''Merantau'' within the Bawean Islanders spurs their heart to leave their homeland to travel abroad, exploring the world in search of opportunities, adventures and knowledge simultaneously, learning about life outside the tiny island, Haj on the other hand is a requirement in Islaam for those who can afford to perform it.

(At Arafah - Haj 2005)

I performed Haj with my husband and youngest child in January 2005. The experience made me realized that Islaam does not want its followers to stay put in one place for the rest of their life. Islaam wants Muslims to be brave to travel abroad, seeking knowledge and continue to be progressive, learning about each other lives among the Muslims from different parts of the world. Simultaneously, Haj provides them with the opportunity to experience a different kind of environment from their birth place. It also provides them the opportunity to understand about life in this world.

(The aftermath of the big flood in Mina)

The big flood in Mina was my greatest memory during the Haj pilgrimage. It made me realized that life is short and death can be just around the corner. Almighty Allah commanded the heavy rain to flood the area, at the same time, kept me and my family in safety. To me, it was a test of faith. My trust in Allah, the Most High, was tested in a time of difficulty, where my unrelenting faith was rewarded with easy stoning of the three Jamrahs.

(The Jamrah - 'Jamrah' means 'Pillar')

I remember my family doctor advising me not to worry about being trapped in massive pools of water in the sandy sand of the Arabian desert as the place was located far from coast. It was very ironic how I had expressed my worries of natural disasters. I thought anything could happen. Indeed if Allah, the All-Wise, wants it to be, it will be, because nothing escapes Almighty Allah’s will and everything is possible except Allah the Most High. From the incident, I was able to see the significance and beauty of Haj.

(At the rear of the photo is the area to perform the stoning of Jamrah)

Likewise, through ''Merantau'', Baweanese became matured in thinking, knowledgable and broad-minded, Haj is ordained in Islaam for Muslims to be wise especially in making choices. It helps to develop intelligent individual Muslims, one who is able to handle issues and daily dealings wisely. Haj also makes Muslims think and ponder about life in this world and universe. It teaches and trains Muslims to live and survive on this earth. While the Qur'aan teaches about Islaam in theory, Haj is the practical lesson to practice this great faith.

(Cave Hira at Jabal Nur - the place where the first revelation of the Qur'aan took place. It was in this small dark cave that the light of Islaam started to glow, lighting-up the world)